Your God will rejoice over you

As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.
-Isaiah 62:5

Yesterday I was talking with Tim and I asked him how he was feeling about the wedding being only 4 days away. What I was trying to get at was to find out about his excitement, nervousness, worries, thoughts on how the day would go and how he feels about getting married in less than a week. I had expressed that I often have butterflies in my stomach, I'm nervous and excited, and anxious about how things will go the day of the wedding. On a deeper level, I have some anxieties about what our future holds, where will we live after the summer is over, where we will work, what we will do. Basically my mind is swirling over the ideas of the unknown. I've never done this before, I've been technically on my own since being at college, but this is different. My mind is always going, I am so excited to join Tim in this new adventure together, but I still have "what ifs" and "now whats" going through my mind.

As I asked Tim how he was feeling, I expected to get a similar answer as I had given him. I mean, he's a guy, and the stereotype of many men is that they fear commitment, want to be independent, etc... Now, I know with all my heart that Tim loves me deeply and that he cannot wait to marry me, but I figured that, to some degree, he would also have thoughts like "what happens next" or worry about how to provide for us. I was way off.

"I am so excited", Tim responded. He went onto tell me that, truly, that is the only feeling he is experiencing right now. He told me he is so excited to get to marry me, be my husband, and get to see me in my dress on the wedding day. He then told me that he isn't like a girl (haha), and doesn't worry about all the little details, at the end of the day he still gets to marry me and be with me, and that is all that mattered to him. He is not worried about the future because he knows that we will face the future together. He is not worried about how to provide for us because he knows that it will all work out. He is not worried about what it will be like/how marriage will be different because he gets to experience it with me.

This got me thinking but didn't hit me till this morning. Actually, I wouldn't say it "hit" me, but rather, the thought gently found me.

I realized that that is how God feels about me.

I continually worry, over analyze things, think too much about details, and forget to just let God delight in me. To just be with God. To enjoy being on an adventure with Him, trusting that He works all things for good. Trusting that I can face anything the future holds because He is with me and carrying me through. I don't have to go through life a lone, I have God. Not only that, but God just wants to spend time with me and be with me on all the adventures of life. I don't need to be worried about "what ifs" or details because those will all work out anyways. Why can I not just be excited to be in the moment and enjoy where God has me? It is a struggle I face but I am realizing more and more than my relationship with God is just that: a relationship. Just as Tim is excited to marry me and just be with me, so is God. He delights in me and I don't need to work hard and try to earn my way to Him, but rather just be with Jesus, learning about Him, discovering things about Him I didn't know, and in turn, discovering things about myself that I didn't know. Growing with Him and spending my life doing things with God, not just for God.

The things I do with God are, in fact, for God, but I am relying on His strength and knowing that I cannot earn my salvation. In fact, just by believing in and loving Jesus, enjoying being in a relationship with Him, I am gaining salvation:

These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ in revealed. Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
-1 Peter 1:7-9

So, with that, I am going to enjoy the next few days and let God take control. I do not need to worry about how my wedding will go, I do not need to worry about what the future holds. All I need to do, and all that God longs for me to do, is enjoy Him, delight in Him, and let (and invite) God to delight in me.