The weight of the world

...is to heavy to bear. I see and hear about so many tragic things in life and my heart absolutely breaks for those around me. I feel like some of my posts are depressing, and it's not because I chose to focus on the negative, quite honestly the Lord has been at work in my life and I have been doing a lot better (praise God), but since having struggled with anxiety my heart has been so much more open to seeing people around me. Seeing them in all of their hurts, pains, and struggles.

We truly are a broken people in need of something far greater than ourselves to save us from this mess.

Since starting to go through counseling, and taking anti-anxiety medicine, God has broken down so many parts of me. Pride, selfishness to name a few. Without sounding too harsh, I thought that only weaker people needed medicine to help with things like anxiety or depression. Like, their faith wasn't strong enough or something, except for extreme circumstances in which the person has severe severe depression, etc.... This is absolutely not the case. Quite honestly, looking at the world around me, it's hard to take it all in and not want some medicine to dull the intensity of it all.

If it is one thing I have to be thankful for through all of this, is that God has made my heart so much more tender toward those around me. Ever since I started going through this process it is as though everyone else around me is going through it too. People I saw as strong and "normal" are sharing similar struggles as me, and it is truly eye opening. I don't want this to be taken wrong, but hearing others struggles makes me feel better knowing that I am not alone - and it takes the focus off of myself and I can begin to offer comfort to those who are hurting, because I understand what they are going through.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
-2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will gives thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted in answer to the prayers of many.
- 2 Corinthians 1:9-11

Praise the Lord that He has not left us on our own. While God is a just God and does not like sin, I think too often we think of God as sitting up on this thrown and looking down at all of the bad things that we are doing in disgust. While God hates sin, I don't picture God like that. I believe that God is absolutely, intimately near, and He hurts when we hurt. He is so divinely intimate with our lives and He sees that horror of the world around us, things so terrible that we have no idea they are even going on in the world. I think it is because of this He realized how utterly hopeless we are on our own. He sent Jesus, His Son, to die for us in our place so that we may have hope in Him. He came and rescued us, saved us from ourselves, to save us by the sin that so much controls us.

God made Him who had no sin be Sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.
-2 Corinthians 5:21

A lot of people can't seem to believe in God because they think if there was a loving God, how could He let all the bad happen in the world. I would suggest reading the above Bible verse again. He died for us, to rescue us, to save us because He loves us more intensely and fiercely than we could ever imagine. And there is nothing we can do to earn that, we just need to accept it and let God take control. I can do nothing by my own strength, I tried and I ended up with horrible anxiety. Yeah, you may not have a manifestation like that in your life, but one way or another you will never be satisfied outside of Jesus. Anything good from me comes from God, because apart from Him I am hopeless.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us.
-Ephesians 2:8-10

Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display His unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on Him and recieve eternal life.
-1 Timothy 1:15-17