Dear Gerald

Dear Gerald,

I have never met you, but I have heard a lot about you. You are a newly admitted resident at my husband's work (nursing home) and I have been praying for you. Just a few weeks ago you met my husband when, out of God's providential grace, you decided to switch lunch tables to hear more about the conversation my husband was having with another Christian lady about Jesus.

You had a lot of questions, honest questions. Tim said it sounded as though you had never even heard about God and Jesus, as though your eyes were being opened for the first time. One question I found humorous was when you asked with concern, "If I become a Christian, will I have to vote Republican?". No, Gerald, you won't. And at 92, being politically active is clearly something you still care about. You don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon, so 2012 better watch out.

I am so overjoyed and excited when Tim called me this afternoon to let me know that you had made the decision to follow Christ. You may not realize this, but God is celebrating and rejoicing over you right now! One of His children has come back to Him! The Bible says that God would leave 99 of his 'sheep' to find the 1 that was lost. You were lost, but now you are found! God and his angels are partying it up right now because you are deeply loved and pursued!

I think as time goes on you may develop questions [How easy it is to just cling to Jesus in the beginning and then doubts, guilt, and worry fill our minds]. You may even regret choices you made in the past, the fact that you went 92 years without Jesus, without truly living. But take heart friend, Jesus has already rescued you. His blood has covered your sins and you are forgiven. You may not have had much time in this lifetime to spend with God, but you have an eternity where you get to spend it praising Jesus and getting to know Him better. It is never too late.

But know this - as a Christian, you are a new creation! "If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17. This means that now there are new things that are true of you:

-You are fiercely loved by God. "Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you, I will sustain you and I will rescue you" -Isaiah 46:4
-You have been adopted into God's family! You are a "child born not of natural descent, nor of human decision, or a husbands will,  but born of God." - John 1:13
-Your future is secure - your treasure is now in Heaven.
-Even though you are in a nursing home, you life is now given adventure, love, purpose, and meaning. I say that because just because you are in a nursing home doesn't mean your life is over, but it is just beginning!
-Your life is hidden with Christ - He has covered you and your sins are forgiven.
-You can delight yourself in God!
-You are free!

My prayer is that you would enjoy your relationship with God, let Him delight in you, and continue to soak up his ever word. No matter how much time God gives you, never lose your first love - Jesus. Writing this to you has been healing, and convicting for me, as I have struggled with losing my first love as I get distracted by so many things that never compare to the surpassing greatness of getting to know Jesus. Our relationship with Jesus is precious, and my prayer is that you would experience it to the fullest.

Your sister in Christ,

Melynda

Reflect

Today has made me look back to some of my past experiences and I remember all to well the pain and fear associated with tragedy.

I woke up this morning to a call from my mom - one of my brother's friends died last night.

And it was seemingly random - what we're hearing is that it was probably a blood clot and it sounds like it went to her lung. Mark talked with her yesterday before she went to the hospital. He says it hasn't hit him yet.

I understand.

When I was in elementary school two girls that I was friends with both passed away in the same year. Fourth grade. One had cancer, but seemed to be doing well, the other was totally random. I even had a friend in high school, when I was Mark's age, die in a car accident and I had class with him. I had known him since I was 5 and all of the sudden he wasn't there.

I think back to when I was in Fourth grade, how much those events thoroughly rocked my world - I had experienced a lot of death in the family, but those were adults, not kids the same age as me, or younger. I didn't know Jesus yet and so in my fragile mind I coped by anxiety. I guess that really isn't copping, but it was how I responded. I thought that surely the same thing could, and would, happen to me. I became ultra sensitive to any "symptoms" I experienced - I remember checking my eyes almost every night because I was told that you could tell if you had a brain injury by how your eyes reacted (one of the girls died of a random, unseen, brain injury) - but I didn't even know what to look for.

It's sad, really. My heart breaks for my younger self. I know that may seem weird, but what I mean is that I didn't have the comfort that comes alone from Jesus, and I was broken, trying to figure things out on my own.

Oh how this must be how God sees all of us. Like little children running after things, hiding in fear, not knowing what will come next, and trying to do things on our own that we clearly don't have the strength to handle. How much His heart must break to see us trying to cling to things for comfort when only He offers true peace and safety.

You could say that anxiety runs in my family - over-thinkers, worriers, and circumstances that have left scars run deep. To be honest, I don't remember a time in my life where worry was not there, even when I was younger. My parents have told me that even when I was little I would always have "What if" questions running through my mind.

The tendency of anxiety runs in my family, but it does not define who I am, let me be clear. I am not anxious, I struggle with anxiety and the temptation to worry about the future so that I may be better prepared rather than run to God knowing that He holds the very future in His hands.

That being said, as much as I hope against it, I believe that when we have kids some day we will come across one of them struggling with anxiety as a little kid. I can't wait for the day where I can teach them how to pray and surrender that to Jesus, how He comforts them and will never let them down. Yes, tragedy happens, but nothing surprises Jesus. That they can grow up in the comfort of knowing that their Savior has them and will never let them go. And that is a peace that I long for, that I can have.

Lately I have been neglecting my relationship with God. But it has been to my own downfall. My days have been mediocre when they could have brought glory to God and joy to my life. I struggle toward trusting God, even when I know that He has never let me down.

So I will trust Him. I will run to Him because only He offers peace and fulfillment.

Whats that you say? Christmas is about Jesus?! Surely you jest

Bella Cupcakes

Today I had a phone interview for a potential marketing intern position through Bella Cupcake Couture - a cute little company (that is growing a lot!) that creates and sells cupcake "wrappers" (for lack of a better word) that can be used for businesses, parties, wedding, etc...

Please be praying that I get this position! It is about a two month commitment, unpaid, and only about 8 hours a week BUT it is something that I am really excited about! I would have the opportunity to use my public relations skills, marketing, creativity, AND there is cupcakes! haha I mean, I'm taking cake decorating classes and I would love the opportunity to use all my skills. At least how it seems, it combines many of my favorite things that I enjoy doing! :) :) :)

the website is www.bellacupcakecouture.com

Christmas, Showers, and things like chemistry (i.e. an ode to Relient K)

I figured I would post some pictures of things that have been going on recently :)

I must say, I am soooo excited to be sharing our "first" Christmas together, Tim & I. I think I was planning it out in August. God has blessed us and as excited as I am for Christmas, I am also reminded of my inner struggle to be a consumer v. a producer. It's definitely something that I have been convicted of - spending my money wisely. Let me just say this now: You'll never find me out shopping the day after Thanksgiving. No thank you...

Anywho, let me get off my soap box for a moment to share some of the recent joys that have been going on :)

Christmas decorations

Stockings that Tim's sister, Makayla, made for us!

Last weekend we also had Lisa's bridal shower! It was a lot of fun! (not to brag or anything, but I totally made that sweet looking bouquet...)

A few weeks ago, Tim and I had the opportunity to spend a four day weekend in Port Ludlow, one of the places we stayed during our honeymoon! It was so good to be back and explore the area with Tim!

Port Ludlow, WA

We went to the Olympic Game Farm in Sequim, WA. Basically, you just drive around in your car and get to see everything from bears to peacocks, bison, and even white deer! (*Question: which bear is better? Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica. Oh the office...)

The Bison (and all the animals there for that matter) had no inhibitions about coming right up to your car.

Tim and I in the car at the game farm

In Sequim on the water, it was beautiful!

Reflection

Tim on the water

Overall it was a great time to get away and spend time together!

Grace is sufficient

It is very interesting, and timely, that I would be writing this as the stupid TV show "The Doctor's" is on and the subject? New Parent Tips.

*DISCLAIMER* I'm not pregnant. You'll understand as I write on.

I am so thankful for the community we have become involved in - Tim and I have had the opportunity to get to know wonderful people and form friendships that we were so longing for when we first moved back over to the westside. I have had the opportunity to go to a women's Bible study on Thursday's that I have loved.

That being said, I'm the only one who is not a mother that is in the Bible study. It really doesn't effect the way I learn, or even relate to the other women in the study. If anything, it is extremely helpful for me to learn from women who are in different stages in life. However, being submerged in all these adorable kiddos and talking with their moms has definitely shifted my focus. (*side note - how easily are we persuaded to be like those around us, whether it be the style of clothes to the stage of life*)

Not that it has shifted my focus to wanting kids right now, but rather, looking forward to when that time comes for Tim and I. We would absolutely love to have kids some day, but when I say that my focus is shifted I mean this: Rather than enjoying the stage of life God has for me right now, I am focusing on the future, the 'next thing' if you will. For example, when I was single I wanted a boyfriend, when Tim and I were dating I wanted to be engaged, when I was engaged I wanted to be married, and now that I am married I want to have kids. Yes, all of those things are good, and I should want them, however what I am saying is that my struggle is not being satisfied until those things are fulfilled.

There is definitely a benefit to being single, a benefit to just dating, a benefit to being engaged to learn before you are married, and a benefit of being married and allowing yourselves time to enjoy each other and learn about where God would have you. Not to mention the extra time that you have available because you don't have kids.

Anyways, this just hit me this morning. It's been a very subtle thing, and definitely not as pronounced as my desire to be married, etc... But it's there nonetheless. Even within the past few weeks there has been much going on in regards to babies and pregnancy. About a month ago two families lost their precious babies at 9 months pregnant. Last night I was rejoicing when I found out that a couple in our community group is expecting (previously they had gone through a few miscarriages as well), and I also found out that a friend suffered an ectopic pregnancy.

It's just going on all around me and it reminds me how things may be different for different people, even when there is tragedy there is also something to rejoice over.

So, I am trying to be smart about our future and save money for when we do want to have a family, but I also am trying to be content with what I have now.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9

List

In an effort to change my perspective, here are the things that I am thankful for today:

1. My salvation. The fact that the God of the universe chose me before the world began. The fact that He is intimately involved in my life and loves me more than I can ever know - even if I am not always seeking Him He is always seeking me.

2. My husband. The Lord has brought me a lot of healing through marriage and my relationship with Tim. Tim is so good to me and it is through that that I learn about God's love for me.

3. Our home. Our apartment is a blessing in more ways than one. God provided an amazing deal for us on the rent and it fits exactly what we were looking for. This also goes along with the fact that I am thankful for the finances God has trusted us with. He has blessed us and I pray that He continues to teach us how to be generous.

4. Our family. They take care of us on so many levels and love us and for that I am thankful. They have taught us so much.

5. My health. I have the ability to walk, run, breathe, see, hear, and enjoy the world around me.

6. Washington. I know this is random, but I am thankful for where we live - I love the green, the rain, the smells, and how God has created such a beautiful landscape.

7. Hope. God brings hope even when I feel like all is hopeless.

8. Community. I am thankful for the people that Tim and I have had the opportunity to meet and get to know since moving to Bellevue and starting church at Mars Hill.