My last post was 6 days before Finn came into the world, and the same day that our dear friend Mitch left this world to be with Jesus. Remember that rejoicing and weeping post? Yes, that is still very much going on. Much rejoicing and much weeping. I will write of that soon as well.
As for how Finn entered this world - he was born on November 17, 2011 at 10:26am weighing in at 8lbs 2oz, after 29 hours of labor. Yes. Twenty nine.
My contractions starting coming on around 5:30am on Nov. 16th, right around the time Tim was getting ready to leave for work. Looking back, I am fairly certain I was having some irregular contractions the day before that because I wasn't really feeling well, but I had no idea that that's what it was. Anyway, I told Tim I wasn't feeling 100% but that he should still go into work (I was in denial and didn't think what I was experiencing was early labor). I tried going back to sleep but I just couldn't get comfortable. Then I started to notice something about an hour after I started feeling not completely right - these "pains" were happening every 10 mins. So at that realization, I decided to call Tim and tell him to come on home! I was in labor!
Now, I have to say that us getting private birthing classes was SO worth it!!!! So many of my questions were answered, as well as Tim's, and it truly helped me have the labor and birth that I wanted. So I started putting what I learned to use! Each time I would feel a contraction I would relax as much as possible and breathe through each one. Finally when Tim got home (which felt like forever) he started coaching me which was so wonderful. I felt like we were a team during the whole labor process and I am so thankful for that.
When he got home I decided to labor in our bath tub for a while. best. thing. ever. Seriously, people give water births a bad name, but for realz, laboring in the bathtub was like heaven. Nearly no pain at all. But alas, I did have to get out at some point. So after about two hours in the bathtub, Tim and I went downstairs and I just started walking around our kitchen and center island, and I discovered that the best place to labor through the contractions was kneeling over on the stairs, go figure! So in between contractions Tim was getting everything ready (cleaning, getting stuff together for the hospital, etc...) and then during them he was always right at my side, rubbing my back, reading scripture, and praying over me.
Around 12:30 or 1pm, we decided it was time to go to the hospital because my contractions were about 4-5mins apart. For the past 45 mins I had been begging Tim to take us to the hospital now because I didn't think I would make it all the way there because of the pain (not because I thought I would give birth in the car lol). Trust me, the last thing you want to do when you are in labor is ride in the car, how can you get comfortable?! I had my feet up on the dash several times, and I felt like it was the longest.car.ride.of.my.life. But Tim was doing he job, he knew that the longer I labored at home the better.
So we finally got to the hospital and they checked us in at triage. I will say this: I truly had a WONDERFUL hospital birth, the doctors and nurses were beyond awesome and I felt like all of my wishes were respected and encouraged. However, the one doctor that was of no help at all was this OB in triage (Praise the Lord we only dealt with him there). So there I am, laying on the bed hooked up to monitors and having a contraction and he just walks right in and asks me why I'm there.
Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?! why do YOU think I'm here? So I jokingly said, "to have a baby!" to which he just looks at me with a blank stare and says, "No, really, why are you here?"
Uhhhh because I've been having contractions since 5:30 this morning and they are closer together now....
Then he just smirks and says, "Okay. Well what is your plan for pain management?"
Me: "My goal is to go completely natural. But if I can't make it all the way I want to go as long as possible, labor some in the bathtub, and if I feel like I need drugs I only want an epidural, no IV narcotics".
His response? "Hah. Yeah. We'll see how that goes"
#@*^!!
Thank you dr. man. You will never have to experience what I'm going through, so I think you should have kept your opinion to yourself unless it was concerning my health or my baby's health.
Okay. That felt good. Couldn't really express my emotions to him while I was in the middle of a contraction. Now I can move on....
I had progressed since I was last seen by my OB (I was 3cm and 80% effaced, for those that know what that means), but they decided to have Tim and I walk around the hospital for an hour, which turned into two when they checked me and I was at a 4cm and wanted me to walk around a little more.
So finally, around 3:30ish (I think?) we offically got admitted and got a room. A bathtub has never looked so sweet to me. Our sweet nurse Vivienne got the hot water going the second we were in there and I was able to feel some relief. At this point Tim continued to talk me through each contraction, praying and reading Bible verses we had picked out before. My mom also came in and stayed with me for a little while when Tim went to get all of our stuff from the car. As we were planning our birth, we decided that we just wanted us to be in the room together and no family members until after Finn was born. But let me tell you, I was so glad my mom was there, especially when Tim had to go grab our stuff. She stayed calm the whole time, which kept me calm, and it made me feel better because I knew that she knew what I was going through.
After a couple more hours laboring in the tub, I decided to get out. They checked me again and I was at a 5cm and 90% effaced. I continued to labor for several more hours in the bath, walking around, and on the birth ball, but I was still stuck at 5cm and was starting to feel discouraged. Our new nurse, Esther, kept encouraging me to go just.alittle.bit.longer and keep trying to go natural.
Tim was a rockstar this whole time. I cannot say enough how strong he was for us. He prayed over me, read the Bible to me, talked with me, and just held my hand and ran his fingers through my hair while I labored. He was awesome. I truly felt like I wasn't alone in this. That was a huge evidence of God's grace and I feel like we accomplished it together.
Tim and I talked and decided that if I still wasn't progressing a lot by 10:30pm that I would get an epidural. It was a hard decision, but it was our decision. Not once was I ever pressured by the nurses, or by the doctor, to get one. As I was preparing for the birth process, it was my strong desire to go all natural, and we trained hard for that (like training yourself to climb a mountain). However, during that time, everyone I talked with and all the natural books I read kept talking bad about hospital births (high rate of c-section, dr's and nurses don't care about your needs, they will always pressure you into drugs, they won't make the hospital room feel comfortable but instead it will be sterile and uncomfortable, etc...). But let me say this: I had a great birth experience, I wouldn't trade it for anything, and all of those hospital stereotypes? Completely broken for me. Not one of them was true. Even the nurses were helping me labor in different positions to get things moving. AND they kept the lights low when Finn was born and it came time to push!
So at 11:00pm, after 17 hrs of labor, I got an epidural. While it was scary at the time, it was truly not a big deal at all. I could still move my legs, had great control of my lower body, and it didn't make me feel "weird". I remember after getting it I asked the nurse "So... I'll just still keep getting contractions then?" (silly question), and she looked at me and laughed and said, "You're having one right now!"
After the epidural Tim and I were able to get some rest which was so sweet and much needed. I really think that the epidural allowed me to relax and help my body keep things moving so I could have the birth I wanted.
Finally around 7am or so, they checked me and I was still only at a 6cm. I was so discouraged!!! Tim prayed with me and they decided to break my water and said, "we'll probably have a baby around lunch time". Then things started moving! 30 mins after that the nurse came in to ask how I was doing and I said, "I need to push!!!!" I had this strong urge that I just couldn't control. This nurse, Isa, was AWESOME! My favorite by far. She helped me push and labor in different positions, I was even able to use the squat bar (which, is nearly impossible if you have an epidural). Tim held my hand the entire time and told me afterwards that I never squeezed his hand hard at all! But that was one thing that our doula and the dr. kept telling me: don't flex any muscles that you aren't using the push because it takes away the power to move the baby down!
I also forgot to mention that a few hours before I got the epidural, a nurse came in and asked us if we would be okay having a student nurse with us during labor. Again, this was one of those things that so many books told me to avoid but for whatever reason, I was all up for it! It was this sweet young guy (haha he was probably the same age as Tim and I) from Vietnam and his name was Mauhn. Anyways, he was great too. It was his first birth that he ever attended and he was super helpful too!
By the way, did I mention that any sense of modesty just goes right out the window when you are in labor? Yeah, well... it does. But you don't care.
So there we were. Tim holding my right hand and praying for me and reading the Bible and encouraging me to tell me I could do it, and the nursing student holding my other hand telling me when to push. I have to say again, Tim was a rock star. Pushing was getting really intense for the last 30 mins and he would look at me with sympathy but he also couldn't hold back his excitement! Many guys, Tim included, say that they don't want to see the actual birth, but rather stay up by their wife's head and coach them from there. But things change when you are in the moment and when it is your own child. Tim watched the whole thing and was so excited the entire time! Finally, at 10:26am, Finn was born!!! (and let me tell you, I felt everything! the epidural just took the edge off for me but that was exactly how I wanted it. but seriously, as soon as they are born, all pain just goes right out the window!) My OB who had been with me the whole nine months got to be there! It was her last day on call before she was going on vacation.
Finn was born, Tim cut his cord, and we had a son! The second he was out he pee'd haha. Then they placed him on my stomach and it was incredible! He was so alert right at first, had a full head of hair (my heartburn wasn't for nothing!), got a 9 on his APGAR and was awesome. Tim and I had done it! Finn was here!
We stayed at the hospital until the next afternoon. While we were there we had sweet time together as a family, time with our families and grandparents, and had many visitors who were so excited to see Finn! Sometimes it can be overwhelming with a lot of visitors, but honestly how this year has been, it was a huge blessing to see these sweet friends who we had met this year come to see Finn. We are incredibly blessed.
Jesus was with me the entire time. There were moments that I felt anxious but God whispered in my ear, "do not worry" and he gave me the strength not to. The whole birth process was absolutely soaked in His grace. I cannot explain that enough. He gave us so much joy, and not because it went perfectly as planned, not because it wasn't hard, but because He was there. This year was rough for so many reasons, and yet, Jesus blessed us with a new life, not to be where we find our hope, but to point us to the One who gives good gifts.
Finn, I am so glad you are here. In your short time so far on earth you have been a blessing to so many people's lives and Jesus has already used you to bring healing to those around you. Your daddy and I pray for you every single day, and I pray that you would hear the Lord's voice from an early age, that you would put your trust in Him, because He will take you on the greatest adventure ever. You are part of that adventure for us. We love you little guy!
*Photo by Rachel Walker Photography
